Detour

Amidst my lethargy of late, I was reading through this blog and realized that on this journey to becoming I've begun to lose the person I was.

I was scrolling through my older posts that took me to earlier this year: my move to Fort Myers and then my subsequent move back to NY; then back to my first trip to the Philippines; and back even further, to the very beginning, all the way to my first day at Parsons, and the endless, grueling days, nights and months that followed, through projects and sewing and late nights at school, Jersey commutes and finding that perfect NY apartment.

I was excited. Enthusiastic. Hopeful. In all of those moments, I had no doubt that I where I was supposed to be; that that was what I meant to be doing. It wasn't always easy, but whatever it was, it was right, simply because I was there. I was so sure, so certain, and right now I'm delving deep to find that excitement, enthusiasm and hopefulness that was there.

Why then, in this moment, does everything feel not right? It seems that whatever avenue I drive down, I make a u-turn because it wasn't the place I was looking for. That has left me searching for a path I can navigate confidently through, but gas light is flickering and everyone else seems to be zooming right on by.

Patience and prayer. I'll get there eventually.