Brave Little Toaster That Could

As much and as often as my life direction has changed in just the past few years, my constant has been my friends. The ones who have stuck around; who think I'm crazy, but in a good way; who encourage me; who believe in my dreams as much as I do; who believe in me when self doubt creeps in...

They are my stability when the rest of my world is chaotic. They give me the courage to take risks, to jump, to fly, because no matter where or how I land, they will be there.

I don't become fearless, but I become brave.

P.S. Combination of childhood nostalgia was on purpose.

Ghost of a Good Thing

It's okay to think about the past. It's okay to reflect and to reminisce, but don't you dare fool yourself into thinking that the past is as good as it got. That's not fair to your present or your future. If you allow every moment to be special, then you have so much to look forward to.

The past is great for lessons, sometimes good for laughs, but don't go chasing for ghosts. Don't go looking for something that isn't there. We tend to look back with rose colored glasses, but if you really think about it and dig into the crevices of your brain for an accurate portrayal of what really happened,  then you remember all the reasons why your past is your past and not your present.

I sound like a depressing Dr. Seuss book.

In all seriousness, I am thankful for the past; thankful for my present; hopeful for the future :)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Just What Happiness Is

If you're wondering if this is how life is supposed to be, whether it be good, bad or something in between, remember that it is the life you chose and that you can continue to shape. I often say to myself, "so this is what growing up is like," and honestly, I don't really know how I feel about it all. I wonder if I'll ever reach those other goals I set out to do, or if I'll fall into this lull and and watch those goals transform into distant dreams. Then I remind myself that I am in control of that.

Last year, as crazy as it was, really helped me discover the things I wanted, needed; the things that moved me and filled my heart. Nothing went as planned, but I am glad it has brought me here. But now that the dust has settled in my renewed New York/New Jersey life, it's time to refocus and find that discipline that got me here in this mess in the first place.

What a beautiful mess this is.

Living In Your Letters

Dear New York,

While you are not the most dysfunctional relationship I've ever had, you certainly are my longest. Formally introduced back in December 2005, we rang in the New Year together, and from that moment, I knew we had something special. Our paths wouldn't cross again until years later. I'd become a different person by then; molded by the experiences college had afforded me. We re-connected that rainy summer of 2009, and I'd found my new future.

You showed me my dreams and how to get there, though, it hasn't always been Spring time cherry blossoms and colorful Autumn leaves. The ups, the downs, the back and forth, the love-hate relationship; it's tiresome and draining. But in the just the way we can feel it in the air when it shifts from Winter to Spring and Summer to Fall, you revive me, waking me up from hibernation and letting me cool off with a crisp breeze. You are an addiction, following every lull with a high, leaving me craving for that next revival.

We are that couple that breaks up and gets back together again, but when people ask how long it's been we never count the time in between. Happy almost 4 years, New York!

All my love xo JT

Don't Have to Change

I'm starting to make plans for the rest of the year, and when I think about Thanksgiving, I can't help but be a little sad at how different home will be.

Ever so slowly, the cousins have started to go our separate ways and all of a sudden, family time isn't a given anymore. Every Sunday used to be guaranteed family time, and I don't think we took this time for granted; we just never thought about it ever ending.

Then we went to different schools, got married, and generally have more grown up obligations, but here's to hoping that one day we'll have the means to have just really super awesome family trips in the future.

The Starting Line

You can start over whenever you choose :)

http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/18/30-things-to-start-doing-for-yourself/

Compass

I've let June pass by without a peep, and now July has nearly come and gone and I've at last decided to give this thing a whirl and see what thoughts spew out of my brain.

I had dinner with a fellow Florida transplant and it is really incredible how much can change in a year. We each had specific life plans (by that I mean we had a rough idea/timeline), but fast forward to a year later, and we are far and away from those plans. Well, maybe not far, but we took a bit of a detour rather than following the map.

And I am happy.

I am happy all of those not planned things happened. I'm glad a took a different route. I'm glad I got a little lost. And I hope I continue to be proof that you always find your way back.

Plate Spinning and Other Circus Tricks

If you don't like where you are, you have to think about what you can do differently, and then actually, you know, do it.

I need to work on generally being more productive. Work more, sleep less. Jay-z didn't become Jay-z because he liked sleep (or P. Diddy, or Timbaland. I don't know why rappers come to mind first but it is what it is.)

Trying to get off of your parents' tab so you no longer have to convince yourself that you're an investment--  Juggling real life responsibilities and dream chasing seems to slow down the progress of the latter.  You begin to wonder if you'll ever, ever get there.

We are a generation of instant gratification. We're impulsive. We want everything how we want it and when we want it, which is our way and NOW. We are impatient. I am impatient.

You may be far and away from where you want to be, but every little step is at least a step forward. Before you know it, you'll be miles away form where you started.

hashtag: gypsyproblems

I constantly feel pulled by three different places and I don’t think it will ever go away.  I’m a city girl, a Southern girl, and an island girl all rolled into one, and when I’m in one place I miss the other two and CAN’T WAIT to get back.

I’m not sure how this will be resolved, but I’m working on a building a lifestyle that appeases by soul, my heart and spirit.

Oh, the woes of a gypsy.

Spring In Your Step

It has been nearly six months since I was home last. I know for most people, that is not a very significant amount of time, but MAN, have I been homesick.

The last time I was home, I spent most of my time praying about what I should do next. New York? Not New York? Going to the chapel, having lunch with friends, making lists on lists on lists trying to figure it all out.

Well, I still don’t have it figured all out, and I probably never will. But I know it was the right decision because it was the decision I made. At a certain point, you have to stop asking for opinions, stop making lists and make a freakin’ decision and trust that it was the best one.

So far, I can’t complain. I have my apartment (in Jersey?!), a job in the city, good people around me, and an un-ending support system that will cheer me on when I need a Gatorade break.

2013, you are flyin’. But you are lookin’ pretty good.

Needing Just a Dose of Sunshine

As I get older, I realize more and more how much my parents have done (and do for me), how much sh*t they put up with from both my sister and me, and how lucky we are to have them.

I'll never know how my mom and dad have garnered so much patience and how they manage to take care of everything and everyone, all the time.

Faith. It must've been faith.

Today is my daddy-o's birthday! Wish him happy birthday if you see him, and if you see my mom, just give her a hug and tell her that she's great.

Grateful. Homesick. Happy here, but looking forward to Florida :)

Feelin' 22

If I ever become famous I want to be as awesome and lovable as her.

Take it or leave it.

Every morning I wake up knowing that this day will become a part of a wonderful story.

Even on days that aren't so perfect-- when I'm cold, digging my car out of the snow; tired; poor; homesick; living in JERSEY (though voluntarily, but seriously?)-- Even on these imperfect days, I still wouldn't want to be anywhere else. Not right now.

I like that my life is ridiculous, and whimsical and fun, and while its unpredictability can be stressful, the stories... Well, I could hardly believe that this is real life either.

And it's mine, all mine.

Whodathunkit

If you asked me four years ago if I'd ever thought I'd be here, I'd tell you that you're crazy.

Well, I'm here. So I guess we've all gone mad.

Remember the Lights

It was my very first game on the UF sidelines, and there I was during pre-game, standing on the 50 yard line in the Swamp. It was during the National Anthem that I looked to my right to my dear friend who I tried out with. We locked eyes as if to say, "Yup. We're really here."

I looked up at the 90 000 people around me, then scanned over the words "Florida Field" directly in front of me, written below the lights.

The lights.

These lights would come to mean so much.  Every game that followed, that was my moment, during the National Anthem. It was my moment to take it all in. These moments I had on the field with my team mates (who would go on to become my best friends)-- I knew they were fleeting. I knew that one day this would all have to end.

Four years since all of that has ended, I still try to remember how it felt to be under those lights. To work so hard and to experience something so special...

We all owe it to ourselves to take a second and revel in where we are and how far we've come.

So everyday, I've found my moment. I walk past the Empire State Building to and from work, and just glance up. Seconds, literally. No, I'm not in that stadium anymore. It's a different set of lights that brings me to a place of both gratitude and accomplishment.  It's my moment to take it all in, because this particular time in my life and these moments in this wonderful city are fleeting. One day it will all have to end.

I hope I never forget this feeling.
I hope I always remember the lights.

Fast Forward

Yanno that feeling where you just want to jump to the parts of your life that you picture in your head?

You're on your way there. You can feel it in your bones.

But I want to know who, I want to know what, when, how. And I want to know now.

And I’m not anxious because I'm uncertain that it'll happen. I’m anxious because I know that it will. What will? Everything. Anything.

Ick. Patience has never been a strong suit of mine.

Reminding myself that the future is made up of lots of little moments called now. So be patient. Appreciate the present. And before you know it, all of the snapshots will make sense of themselves and you'll have yourself a feature film. So don’t play the result. 

Writing Miss Wu

Sometimes a girl feels like this:

 And plus the clothes are just great.