Monday, April 22, 2019

I'm Doing My Very Best

Seattle has been hard.

My job is fine. My co-workers are great. And a few have become friends that will stay in our lives forever. Coaching has brought back something I love, just in a different form. When we finally leave Seattle, this will be the thing that I miss the very most.

I love our apartment. We moved out of our 600 square feet studio in International District/Chinatown into a true one bedroom in the very hip Capitol Hill. It has a fireplace and a little balcony, and enough room for my giant industrial sewing machine (which I don't use as much as I'd like). Rent is high. We'll never be able to afford a house. But our neighborhood is cool. And don't have a car, which I don't really mind at all.

The weather is mostly as awful as they say. But when it's good, it's perfect. Seattle easily has the best summer I have ever experienced in my life so far.

Seasonal depression is real. I hated my job. I was sluggish. I didn't want to see anyone. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I thought I was that unhappy and homesick. I cried at least once a week. At least. I never felt so hopeless as I did those couple of months. I realized that it was more than just feeling sad the day I stayed home from work, called one of my best friends, and burst into tears. That's when I realized that this wasn't just sadness, it was depression.

I felt better knowing that I wasn't just that unhappy.

That was then. Now it's spring. And we get hints of it now. The cherry blossoms, the tulips. Bits of sunshine, here and there. Seattle is turning green. The days are getting longer. Hallelujah.

*Deep breath*

Seattle is a special place. This is a special time. It's the first city that JP and I lived not just since we've been married, but the first city we've lived in together. It's not his town, it's not mine. It's ours. And that's awfully special. These friends that we're making, they're ours. The memories: ours.

Years from now, when we're living our best life out in suburbia, we'll look back at our time here and talk about this crazy time with the rosiest colored glasses.

Trying my very best to enjoy it while we're here.