"A hundred times have I thought New York is a catastrophe, and fifty times: It is a beautiful catastrophe." Le Corbusier

It's when I leave school and walk through all of the vendors in Union Square; when I head home and pass by those bright lights of 42nd. It's when I leave my internship and see Alexander McQueen's store across the way, then pass by Chelsea Market. It's when I get lost in Central Park on an early evening run, then, feeling completely out of place in my spanks and t-shirt, walk home down 5th Ave.

I have to pinch myself, because most of the time I forget that I actually live here.

Time Square is my front yard, and Central Park is my playground. And despite the occasional pungent smells, the creepy homeless men, and the almost unbearable heat of the subway stations, I am completely enamored with this city.

And it's not that I don't see myself living somewhere else. It's that right now, there's no place I'd rather be.

The Road Less Travelled

I've started running in Central Park, and I'm not sure that I will ever take the same path back to where I started. Not by choice.

Sometimes life just gets it right.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
-Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson

All too often we play the "what if.." game. What if I had never studied abroad that summer? What if I were in grad school? What if I were teaching in Spain? What if I never started selling my paintings? The "what if.." game is a stupid game. You can't change what's already happened. And if you could go back and do it all over again, would you want to do things differently?

I'm gonna go with a "no" on this one. It's difficult to regret the past when I am so completely satisfied with where I am now. Is this what I planned for myself? Absolutely not. But that's okay, because it's better than anything I could have ever hoped for. And I'm 100% aware of how cheesy I sound right now, but I'm alright with that.

Okay, so I know that I said the "what if.." game is a stupid game. I take it back. What if all the choices you made were all the right ones? What if life unravels just as it's supposed to? What if you get everything you ever wanted?

That version of the "what if.." game I can do.

One more: What if you really are just that awesome? Bet you are.

Sweet Summertime

Seaside Heights

It's June! And my summer is off to an absolutely BEAUTIFUL beginning. It has been so long since the last update, I don't even know where to begin!

I can officially check "Jersey Shore" off my list. It was Memorial Day, and we started at Island State Park. I was just ecstatic to see my old friend, the Atlantic Ocean, again. It's been way too long. No, it wasn't Florida. But a beach is a beach. And it really wasn't tragic. It was rather nice, actually. Crowded. Typical for Memorial Day, I suppose. But yanno what was weird? All of the beach umbrellas. I didn't know that so many people actually used them. Sure, an aunt would occasionally lug one to the beach every now and then, but I thought it was a Filipino thing, because she didn't wanna get dark. But there they were, lining the shore. Maybe I just hadn't noticed them at the beaches at home? I don't think so, but I'll be sure to check this out when I go home in July. I know it's a funny thing to dedicate an entire paragraph to, but it was the strangest sight to me for some reason.

So we peaced out then proceeded to the boardwalk at Seaside Heights. The beach there was overcrowded. Glad we went to Island State first, because I think I would've been miserable otherwise. The boardwalk is awesome for people watching. You just never know what you'll find. It's great.

So that was my Memorial Day in a nutshell. And the next day was, alas, MOVING DAY!

And moving day became a moving fiasco. Things got all mixed up with how was going to move, and even if we were going to move in that day was uncertain. It got a little tricky, but by the end of the day, I was out of Jersey and finally in the city.

I spent the next couple of days trying to get the place together for Lexy's visit, but failed miserably. With the painters, and the whole move in day mix up, it was just not happening. But on the bright side, it day make for an interesting weekend with Lex and Anna who were in town for Belmont .

Toothpicks in burritos, driving literally in circles only to end up at Two Boots for the traditional end of the night pizza, strange brunch experiences, lassoing cowboys named after presidents, Sweetiepie for dinner (great atmosphere, mediocre food btw), wandering to Union Square.. all key descriptions for Belmont weekend, but could all be summed up in a single word, as previously stated: interesting.

WHEW. That's enough for now. More adventures to come, and more frequent posts now that school no longer has me by the ovaries. Summer guide to NYC coming sooooon. Look forward to it.