Wednesday, December 30, 2009
| So 2009 easily goes to the bottom of my list of favorite years. It had its bright spots, and I am 100% aware of how blessed I am. But really. 2009 can suck it. I'm sorry. There's just no eloquent way to say it. I've thought about it, and expressing it this way truly captures the essence of this year. At the end of each year, I like to sit and reflect on the last 12 months. Go over the ups and the downs. Examine my relationships with my family and friends. It kind of keeps me in check. Keeps me on track. So that I'm never too far from the person I was, nor from the person I'd like to become. Well, this year, besides the ups and the downs, there was a lot of going around in circles. If you had at all been in tune to life post-grad, then you know that life had been pretty much turned upside down. Spain didn't happen. (Actually, a lot of things just didn't happen.) All of a sudden, the plans that I made for months were out the window. And I was terrified. I've spent the better part of this year wondering what I should be doing, what my next step should be, lost, confused and with little direction. I had to keep telling myself "where ever you are is exactly where you're supposed to be". As scared as I was, I had to keep on believing that everything would fall into place, and that life would unravel in its own way, and on its own time. Whenever I had these moments of doubt, my dad would always remind me to pray. Every time. Without fail. And that's something I have always loved and admired about my dad. How he is a man of such great faith. And so I did. I prayed a lot. I was in my favorite secondhand bookstore today, and came across a little book of quotes. Some of them were crap. A lot were super cliche. And this one, as simple and cliche as it may be, kind of just hit the spot. "Trust eliminates fear." And that's what I had to do a lot of this year. Trust. Believe. Etc. You go on believing that everything happens for a reason. That the plan that God has for you is infinitely better than the one that you've made for yourself. And you learn that our prayers are often answered, but sometimes it's just not the answer we were looking or hoping for. And after that, there's nothing to do but move forward. So this my proposal to everyone who has had a pretty crappy 2009. While I'm not a huge believer in new years resolutions, I am a big believer in being happy. And sometimes that requires change. I do think it is a little silly that we wait until the new year to make changes, because there's no real reason why we couldn't start now. But this time, I'll make an exception. I say you take the last couple days left of 2009, and immerse yourself in all of the negative emotions that you've felt. Whether you've been incredibly stressed, sad, depressed, bitter, angry, any or all of the aforementioned.. You're allowed to feel that way up until the last second of 2009. If you've ever read Tuesdays with Morrie (and if you haven't, ya should), it's kind of like that. Some mornings he'd cry and mourn over himself, and let his grief wash over him. He allows himself to feel that emotion completely. So I recommend that you dive head first into all of those things that you've been feeling. Then you can say you've experienced that emotion. You can recognize it. And then you can detach yourself from it. I am all about leavin it in 2009. There are wonderful things ahead, and you won't want any unnecessary baggage weighing you down. The Jenna Taino Saga: The College Years has come to a close. And I've been on hiatus for about 6 months. I won't even say that 2010 begins a new chapter. Because this is a different volume completely. Can't wait for the adventures, and to share these new experiences with the people I love. Stay tuned, because you won't wanna miss this ;) Have a very happy and blessed new year, everyone. I love you all very much <3 td="td"> |
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